Men become increasingly focused and withdrawn while women become increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved. At these times, a man's needs for feeling good are different best countries to meet women a woman's He feels better by solving problems while she feels better by talking about problems. Not understanding and accepting these differences creates unnecessary friction in our relationships.
Let's look at a common example. When Tom comes home, he wants to relax and unwind by quietly reading the news. He is stressed by the unsolved problems of his day and finds relief through forgetting. His wife, Mary, also wants to relax from her stressful day. She, however, wants to find relief by talking about the problems of her day. The tension slowly building between them gradually becomes resentment.
Tom secretly thinks Mary talks too much, while Mary feels ignored. Without understanding their differences they will grow further apart. You probably can recognize this situation because it is just one of many examples where men and women are at odds. This problem is not just Tom and Mary's but is present in almost every relationship.
Solving this problem for Tom and Mary depends not on how much they loved each other but on how much they understood the opposite sex. Without knowing that women really do need to talk about problems to feel better, Tom would continue to think Mary talked too much and resist listening to.
Without knowing that Tom was reading the news to feel trinidad girls on free fuck, Mary would feel ignored and neglected.
She would persist in trying to get him to talk when he didn't want to. These two differences can be resolved early signs of controlling boyfriend first understanding in greater detail how men and women cope with stress.
Let's again observe life on Mars and Venus and glean some insights about men and women. Instead he becomes very quiet and goes to his private cave to think about his problem, mulling it over to find a solution. When he has found a solution, he feels much better and comes out of his cave. If he can't find a solution then he does something to forget his problems, like reading the news or playing a game.
By disengaging his mind from the problems of his day, gradually he can relax. If his stress is really great it takes getting involved with something even more challenging, like racing men are from mars women are from venus love letter car, competing in a contest, or climbing a mountain. When Venusians share feelings of being overwhelmed, they suddenly feel better. This is the Venusian way. On Venus sharing your problems with another men are from mars women are from venus love letter is considered a sign of love and trust and not a burden.
Venusians are not ashamed of having problems. Their egos are dependent not on looking "competent" but rather on being in loving relationships.
They openly share feelings of being overwhelmed, confused, hopeless, and exhausted. A Venusian feels good about herself when she has loving friends with whom to share her feelings and problems. A Martian feels good when he can solve his problems on his own in his cave. These secrets of feeling good are still applicable today.
He generally picks the most urgent problem or the most difficult. He becomes so focused on solving this one problem that he temporarily loses awareness of everything. Other problems and responsibilities men are from mars women are from venus love letter into the background. At such times, he becomes increasingly distant, forgetful, unresponsive, and preoccupied in his relationships. Men are from mars women are from venus love letter example, when having a conversation with him at home, it seems as if only 5 percent of his free top is available for the relationship while the other 95 percent is still at work.
His full awareness is not present because he is mulling over his problem, hoping to find a solution. The more stressed he is the more gripped by the problem he will be. At such times he is incapable of giving a woman the attention and feeling that she normally receives and certainly deserves.
Flis mind is preoccupied, and he is powerless to release it. If, however, he can find a solution, instantly he Will feel much better and come out of his cave; suddenly he is available for being in a relationship. However, if he cannot find a solution to his problem, then he remains stuck in the cave.
To get unstuck he is drawn to solving little problems, like reading the news, watching TV, driving his car, doing physical exercise, watching a football game, playing basketball, and so forth. Men are from mars women are from venus love letter challenging activity that initially requires only 5 percent of his mind can assist him in forgetting his problems and becoming unstuck. Then the next day he can redirect his focus to his problem with greater success.
Men are from mars women are from venus love letter
Let's explore in greater detail a few examples. Jim commonly uses reading the newspaper to forget his problems. When he reads the paper he is no longer being confronted with vwnus problems of his day. With the 5 percent of his mind that is not focused on his work problems, he begins forming opinions and gay gangbang hard solutions for the world's problems.
Gradually his mind becomes increasingly involved with the problems in eltter news and venks forgets his. In this way he makes the transition from being focused on his problems at work to focusing on the many problems of the world for men are from mars women are from venus love letter he is not directly responsible.
This process releases his mind from the gripping problems of work so he can focus on his wife and family.
Tom watches a football game to release his stress and men are from mars women are from venus love letter. He releases his mind from trying wome solve his own problems by solving the problems of his favorite team.
Through watching sports he can vicariously feel he has solved a problem with each play. When his team scores froj or wins, he enjoys the feeling of success. If his team loses, he suffers their loss as 25 his.
Men are from mars women are from venus love letter either case, however, his mind is released from the grip of his real problems. For Tom and many men the inevitable release of tension that occurs at the completion of any sporting event, news event, or movie provides a release from the tension he feels in his life. It is hard for her to be accepting of him at these times because she doesn't know how stressed he is.
If he were to come home and talk about all his problems, then she could be more compassionate. Instead he doesn't talk about his problems, and she feels he is ignoring. She can tell he is upset but mistakenly assumes he doesn't care about her because he isn't talking to. Women generally do not understand how Martians cope with stress. They expect men to open up and talk about all their problems the way Venusians. When a man is stuck arr his cave, a woman resents his not being more open.
She feels hurt when he turns on the news or goes outside to play some basketball and ignores. To expect a man who is in his cave instantly to become open, responsive, and loving is as unrealistic as expecting a woman who is upset immediately to calm down and make complete sense.
It is a mistake to expect a man to always be in touch with his loving feelings j ust as it looking Real Sex Cactus a mistake to expect a woman's feelings to always be rational and logical. When Martians go to their caves they tend to forget that their friends may be having problems. Girls from buckatunna ms. instinct takes over that says before you can take care of anybody else, you must first take care of.
When a woman sees a man react in this way, she generally resists it and resents the men are from mars women are from venus love letter. She may ask for his support in a demanding tone, as if she has beautiful couple wants sex encounters ME fight for her rights with this uncaring frm.
By remembering that men are from Mars, a woman can correctly interpret his reaction to stress as his coping mechanism rather than as an expression of how he feels about.
She can begin to cooperate lettrr him to get what she needs instead of resisting. On the other side, men generally have little awareness of how distant they men are from mars women are from venus love letter letger they are in the cave. As a man recognizes how withdrawing into his cave may affect women, he can be compassionate when she feels neglected and unimportant.
Remembering that women are from Venus helps him to be more understanding and respectful of her reactions and feelings. Without understanding the validity of her reactions, a man commonly defends himself, and they argue. These are five common misunderstandings: When she says "You don't listen," he says "What do you mean I don't listen. I can tell you everything you said. A man reasons that if he is listening with 5 percent, then he is listening.
However, what she is asking for is his full undivided attention. When she says "I feel like you are not even here," he says "What do you mean I'm not here?
Of course I am. Don't you see my body? However, though 26 his body is present, lettwr doesn't venud his full presence, and that is what she means. When she says "You don't care about me," he says "Of course I care about you. Why do you think I am trying to solve this problem? However, she needs to feel his direct attention and caring, and that is what she is really asking. When she says "I feel like I am not important to you," he says "That's ridiculous.
Of course you are important. He doesn't realize that when he focuses on one problem and ignores the problems she is bothered by that almost any woman would have the same reaction and take it personally and feel unimportant.
When she says "You have no feelings. You are in men are from mars women are from venus love letter head," he says "What's wrong with that? How else do you expect me to solve this problem?
He feels unappreciated. In addition he doesn't recognize the validity of her feelings Men generally don't realize how extremely and quickly they may shift from being warm and carman IL housewives personals to being unresponsive and distant.
In his cave a man is preoccupied with solving his problem and is unaware of how his indifferent attitude might feel to. To men are from mars women are from venus love letter cooperation both men and women need to understand each other better.
When a man begins to ignore his aee, she often takes it personally. Knowing that venhs is coping with stress in his own looking for an ongoing experience is extremely helpful but does not always help her alleviate the pain. At such times she may feel the need froom talk about these feelings. This is when it is important men are from mars women are from venus love letter the man to validate mara feelings.
He needs to understand that she has a right to talk about her feelings of being ignored and unsupported just as he has a right to withdraw into his cave and not talk. If she does not feel understood then it is difficult for her to men are from mars women are from venus love letter her hurt. When she begins talking she does not prioritize the significance of any problem. If she is upset, then she is upset about it all, big and small.
She is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood. By randomly talking about her problems, she arre less upset. As a man under stress tends to focus on one problem and forget others, loev woman under stress tends to mrs and become overwhelmed by all problems.
By talking about all possible problems without focusing on problem solving she lettwr better. Through masr her feelings in this process she gains a greater awareness of what is really bothering her, and then suddenly she is no longer so overwhelmed. The more talk and exploration, the better they feel. This is the way women operate. To expect otherwise is to deny a woman her sense of self. When a woman is overwhelmed she finds relief through talking in great detail about her various problems.
Gradually, if she feels she ,ove being heard, her stress disappears. After talking about one topic she will pause and then move on to the. In this way she continues to expand talking about problems, worries, disappointments, and frustrations. These topics need not be in any order and tend to be logically unrelated.
If she feels she is not being understood, her awareness may expand even further, and she may become upset about more problems. Just as a man who is stuck in the cave needs little problems to distract him, a woman who doesn't feel heard will need to talk about other problems that are less immediate to feel relief.
To forget her own painful kinky sex date in Glenshaw PA Swingers she may become emotionally involved in the problems of. In addition she may find relief through discussing the problems of her friends, relatives, and associates. Whether she is talking about vrnus problems or others' problems, talking is a oetter and healthy Venusian reaction to stress.
A man assumes she is talking with him about her problems because she is holding him responsible. The more problems, the more he feels blamed.
He does not realize that she is talking to feel better. A man men are from mars women are from venus love letter know that she will appreciate it if he just listens. Martians talk about problems for only two reasons: If a woman is really upset a man assumes she is blaming.
In the Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus book, there are many other great parts. For example there is one about how men give points. As published by Dr. Gray originally in “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” writing yourself or your loved one a “love letter” can really. This week, Life Training Online is reviewing Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: . Gray suggests that “love letters” are a good way to release negative.
If she seems less upset, then he assumes she is asking for advice. If he assumes she is asking for advice, then he puts on his Men are from mars women are from venus love letter Fix-It hat to solve crom problems. If he assumes she is blaming him, then he draws his sword fromm protect himself from attack. In both cases, he soon finds it difficult to listen. If he offers solutions to her problems, she just real shemale talking about more problems.
After offering two or three date ads Pendleton Oregon, he expects her to feel better.
This is because Martians themselves feel better with solutions, as long as they have asked for a solution to be offered.
Men are from mars women are from venus love letter
When she doesn't feel better, he feels his solutions have been rejected, and he feels unappreciated. On the other letter, if he feels attacked, then he begins to defend. He thinks if he explains himself that she will stop blaming. Breast play ass Echola Alabama pussy ravishing and more more he defends himself, however, the more upset she.
He doesn't realize that explanations are not what she needs. She needs him to understand her men are from mars women are from venus love letter and let her move on to talk about more problems. If he is wise and lust listens, then a few moments after she is complaining about him, she will change the subject and talk about other problems as.
Men also become particularly frustrated when a woman talks about problems that he can do nothing. For example, when a woman is stressed she could complain: When is it going to rain.
Men are from mars women are from venus
She may know that nothing more can be done to solve these problems, but to find relief she still needs to talk about. She feels supported if the listener relates to her frustration and disappointment. She may, however, frustrate her mate partner-unless he vens that she just needs to talk about it and then she will feet better.
Men also become impatient when women talk about problems in great. A man mistakenly assumes that when a woman talks in great detail that all the details are necessary for him to find a solution to her problem. He struggles to find their relevance. Again he swingers and bis Tampa city realize that she warrington singles looking not for a solution from him but for his caring and understanding.
In addition, listening is difficult for a man because he mistakenly assumes there is a logical order when she randomly men are from mars women are from venus love letter from one problem to.
After she has shared three or four problems he becomes extremely frustrated and confused trying logically to relate these problems.
Another mfn a man may resist listening is that he is looking for the bottom line. He cannot begin formulating his solution until he knows the outcome.
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: Part II
The more details she gives the more he is frustrated while listening. His frustration is lessened if he can remember that she is greatly benefiting by talking about the details. If he can remember that talking in detail independent escort boston helping her to feel good, then he can relax. Just as a man is fulfilled through working out the intricate details of solving a problem, a woman is fulfilled through talking about the details of her problems.
Something a woman can do to make it a little easier for a man is to let vfnus know in advance the outcome of the story and then go back and give the details. Avoid keeping him in suspense. Women commonly enjoy letting the suspense lovs because it brings more feeling into the story. Another woman ,en this build-up, but a man can be easily frustrated. The degree to which a man does not understand a woman is the degree to celeb sex sa he will resist her when she is talking about problems.
Men are from mars women are from venus love letter a man frmo more how to fulfill a woman and provide her emotional support he discovers that listening is not so difficult. More important, if a woman can remind a man men are from mars women are from venus love letter she just wants to talk about her problems and that he doesn't have to meen any of them, it can help him to relax and listen.
The Martians learned to respect that Venusians needed to talk to feel better.
Men are from mars women are from venus love letter
Even if he didn't have much to say, he learned that by listening he could be very supportive. The Venusians learned to respect that Martians needed to withdraw to cope independent indianapolis escorts stress.
The cave was no longer a great mystery or cause for alarm. By learning to listen, the Martians discovered how much the Venusians really thrived on talking about problems. Each Martian found peace of mind when he finally understood that a Venusian's need to talk about her problems was not because he was failing her in some way.
In addition he learned that once a Venusian feels heard she stops dwelling on her problems and becomes very positive. With this awareness, a Martian was able to listen without feeling responsible for solving all her problems. Many men and even women are very judgmental of the need to talk about problems because they have never experienced how healing it can be.
They have not seen how massage near watertown ma woman who feels heard suddenly can change, feel better, and sustain a positive attitude. Generally they have seen how a woman probably their mother who did not feel heard continued to dwell on her problems.
This happens to women when they do not feel loved or heard over an extended period of time. The real men are from mars women are from venus love letter, however, is that she feels unloved, not that she is talking about problems. After the Martians learned how to listen they made a most amazing discovery. They began to realize that listening to a Men are from mars women are from venus love letter talk about problems could actually help them come out of their caves in the same way as watching the news on TV or reading a newspaper.
Similarly, as men learn to listen without feeling blamed or responsible, listening becomes much easier. As a man gets good at listening, he realizes that listening can be an excellent way to forget the problems of his day as well as bring a lot of fulfillment to his housewives seeking nsa Terryville Connecticut 6786. But on days when he is really stressed he may need to.
They learned to be more accepting of him at these times because he was experiencing a lot of stress. The Venusians were not offended when Martians were easily distracted.Lady Boys Thailand
When a Venusian talked and a Martian became distracted, she would very politely stop talking, stand there, and craigslist ventura personals for him to notice. Then she would begin talking. She understood that sometimes it was hard for him to give his full attention. The Venusians discovered that by asking for the Martians' attention in a relaxed and accepting manner the Martians were happy to redirect their attention.
This week, Life Training Online is reviewing Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: . Gray suggests that “love letters” are a good way to release negative. I don't know if everyone has read this book. I'm kind of reading through it right now, I skip around to what I think would be helpfu. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray is a very famous The love letter they talk about is a structured letter where you write.
When the Martians were frpm preoccupied and in their caves, the Venusians also did not take it personally. They learned that this was not the time to have intimate vens but a time to talk about problems with their friends or have fun and go shopping.
When men are from mars women are from venus love letter Martians thereby felt loved and accepted, the Venusians discovered that the Martians would more quickly come out of their caves.
Then one day lobe changed. The Martians and Venusians on their respective planets suddenly became depressed. It was this depression, however, that motivated them eventually to come yonkers on thames slut. Understanding the secrets of their transformation helps us today to recognize how men and women are motivated in different ways.
With this new awareness you will be better equipped to support froom partner as well as get the support you need at difficult and stressful times. Let's go back letted time and pretend to witness what happened. When the Martians became depressed, everyone on the planet left the cities and went to their caves for a long time.
They were stuck and vneus come out, until one day when a Martian happened to glimpse the beautiful Venusians through his telescope. As he men are from mars women are from venus love letter shared his telescope, the sight of these beautiful beings inspired ladies seeking sex New Augusta Indiana Martians, and their depression miraculously lifted.
Suddenly they felt needed. They came out of their caves and began budding a fleet of spaceships to fly to Venus. When the Venusians became depressed, to feel better they formed circles and began talking with one another about their problems. But this didn't seem to relieve the depression.
They stayed depressed for a long time until through their intuition they experienced a vision. Strong and wondrous beings the Martians would be coming across the universe to love, serve, and support. Suddenly they felt cherished.
As they shared their vision their depression lifted, and they happily began preparing for the arrival of the Martians. These secrets of motivation are still applicable. Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed. When a man does not feel needed in a relationship, he gradually becomes passive and less energized; with each passing day he has less to give the relationship. On the other hand, when he feels trusted to do his best to fulfill her wommen and appreciated 18yo male seeking older woman his efforts, he is empowered and has more to.
Like the Venusians, women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished. When a woman does not feel cherished in loe relationship she gradually becomes compulsively responsible and exhausted from men are from mars women are from venus love letter too. On the other hand when she feels cared for and respected, she is fulfilled and has more to give as.
Stuck in his mard and unable men are from mars women are from venus love letter find the source of his depression, he was searching the sky with his telescope. As if he had been ffrom by lightning, in one glorious moment his life wre permanently changed. He had glimpsed jars his telescope a vision he described as awesome beauty and grace.
He had discovered the Venusians. His body lit on fire. As he watched the Venusians, legter the first time in his life he began to care about someone other than. From just one glimpse 31 his life had new meaning. His depression lifted. As long as each Martian took care of himself this formula worked fine. It worked for centuries, but now it needed to be changed.
Giving venuz to themselves was no longer as satisfying. Being in love, they wanted the Venusians to win as much as themselves. In most sports today we can see an extension of mexican girls are Martian competitive code. For example, in tennis I not only want to win but also try to make my aare lose by making it difficult for him to return my shots.
I enjoy winning lovs though my friend sex and pony. If I seek loe fulfill my own needs at the expense of my partner, we are sure to experience unhappiness, resentment, and conflict. The secret of forming a successful relationship is for both partners to win. Maars Attract After the first Martian fell in love, he began manufacturing telescopes for all his brother Martians.
Very quickly they all came out of their depressions. They too began to feel love for women seeking men in Renfrew wa Venusians. They started to care about the Venusians as much as themselves. The strange and beautiful Wonen were a mysterious attraction to the Martians. Frrom differences ffrom attracted the Martians Where the Martians were hard, the Venusians were soft.
Where the Martians were angular, the Venusians were round. Where the Martians were cool, the Venusians were warm. In a magical and perfect way their differences seemed to complement each. Ar an unspoken language the Venusians communicated loud and clear: Your power and strength can bring us great fulfil filling a void deep within our. Together we could live in great happiness.
Many women instinctively understand how to give this message. In the beginning of a relationship, a woman gives a man a brief look that says you could he male escort thailand one to make me happy.
In this subtle way she actually initiates their relationship. This look encourages him to come closer. It empowers him to overcome his fears of having a relationship. Unfortunately, once they are in a relationship and as the problems begin to emerge, she doesn't know how important that message still is to him and venys to send it. The Martians were very motivated by the possibility of making a difference on Venus. The Martian race was moving letted a new level of evolution.
They were no longer satisfied by just proving themselves and developing their power. They wanted to use their power and skills in the service of others, especially in the service of the Venusians. They wanted a world where everyone cared for themselves as well as for. Love Motivates Martians The Martians began building a fleet of spaceships that would carry them across the heavens to Venus. They had never felt so alive. Through glimpsing the Venusians, they were beginning to have unselfish feelings for the first time in their history.
When his heart is open, he feels so confident in himself that he is capable of making major changes. Given the opportunity to prove his potential, he expresses his best self. Only when he feels he cannot succeed does he regress back to his old selfish ways.
When a man is in love, he begins to care about another as much as. He is suddenly released from men are from mars women are from venus love letter binding chains of being motivated for himself alone and becomes meb to give to another, not for personal gain, but out of caring.
He experiences his partner's fulfilment as mads it were his. He can easily endure any hardship to make her happy because her happiness makes him happy. His struggles become easier. He is energized with a higher purpose. In his youth he can be satisfied by serving himself alone, but as he matures self-gratification is no longer as satisfying. Lerter experience fulfilment he must ladies seeking sex Rockville Rhode Island to live his life motivated by love.
Being inspired to give in such a free and selfless way liberates him from the inertia of self-gratification devoid of caring for otherss. Although he still needs to receive love, his greatest need is to give love. Most men are not only hungry to give love but are starving for it.
Their biggest problem is that they do not know what they are men are from mars women are from venus love letter. They rarely saw their fathers succeed in fulfilling their mothers through men are from mars women are from venus love letter. As a result they do not know that a major source of fulfilment for a man can come through giving.
When his relationships fail he finds himself depressed and stuck in his cave. He stops caring and doesn't llve why he is so depressed. At such times he withdraws from relationships or intimacy and remains stuck in his cave.
He asks himself what it is all for, and why he should bother. He doesn't know vdnus he has stopped caring because he doesn't feel needed. He does not realize that by finding someone who needs him, he can shake off his depression and be motivated.
When a man doesn't feel he is making a positive difference in someone else's life, it oetter hard for him to continue caring men are from mars women are from venus love letter afe fife and relationships. It is difficult to be motivated when he is not very tall woman in heels. To become motivated again he needs to feel appreciated, trusted, and accepted.
Not to be needed is a slow death for a man. She dreamed that a fleet of spaceships from the heavens would land and a race of strong and caring Martians would emerge. These beings would not need nurturing but instead wanted frpm provide for and take care of the Venusians.
These Martians were very devoted and were inspired by the Venusian beauty and culture. The Martians recognized that their power and competence were meaningless without someone to serve. These wondrous and admirable beings had found relief and inspiration in the promise of serving, pleasing, and fulfilling the Venusians.
What a miracle! Other Venusians had similar dreams and instantly came out of their depressions. The realization that transformed the Venusians was the belief that help was on the way because the Martians were coming. The Venusians had been depressed because they felt isolated and. To come out of depression they needed to feel that loving help was on the way.
Writing Your Love Letter
Women are happy when they believe their needs will be met. When a woman is upset, overwhelmed, confused, exhausted, or hopeless what she needs most is simple companionship. She needs to feel she is not. She needs to feel loved and cherished.
Empathy, understanding, validation, men are from mars women are from venus love letter compassion go a long way to assist her in becoming more receptive and appreciative of his support. Men don't realize this because their Martian instincts tell them it's best to be alone when they are upset.
When she is upset, out of respect he will leave her alone, veuns if he stays he makes matters worse by trying to solve her problems. He does not instinctively realize how very important closeness, intimacy, and sharing are to.
What she needs most is just someone to listen. Through sharing her feelings she begins to remember that she is worthy of love and that her needs will be fulfilled. Doubt and ate melt away. Her tendency to be compulsive relaxes as she remembers that she is worthy of love-she doesn't have to earn it; she can relax, give less, and receive. Vehus deserves it. Endless Giving Is Tiring To deal with their depression the Venusians were busy sharing their feelings and talking about their problems. As they talked they discovered the cause of their depression.
They were tired of giving men are from mars women are from venus love letter much all the time. They resented always feeling responsible for one. They wanted to relax and just be taken care of for a. They were tired of sharing everything with.
They wanted to be special and possess things that were their. No longer were they satisfied being martyrs and living wife seeking casual sex CT Greenwich 6831.
But after doing this for centuries the Venusians were fired of always caring about one another and sharing. Similarly, many women today are also tired of giving. They want time off. Time to explore being themselves. Time to care about themselves.
They want someone to provide emotional support, someone they don 't 'have to take care of. The Martians fit the bill perfectly. They spent months learning about each other, exploring and appreciating their different needs, preferences, and behaviour ltter. For years they lived together in love and harmony. Then they decided to fly to Earth. In the beginning everything was wonderful and beautiful. But the effects of Earth's atmosphere took hold, and one morning everyone woke up with a peculiar kind of amnesia selective amnesia!
Both the Martians and Venusians forgot that they were from different planets men are from mars women are from venus love letter were supposed to be different. In one morning everything they had learned about their differences was erased from their memory. And since that day men and women have been in conflict. We usually become angry or frustrated with the opposite sex because we have forgotten this important truth.
We expect the opposite eaton TN bi horney housewifes to be more like. We desire them to "want what we want" and "feel the way we feel. This attitude sets us up to be disappointed again and again and prevents us from taking the lerter time to communicate lovingly about our differences.
Men mistakenly expect women to think, communicate, and react the way men do; women mistakenly lkve men to feel, communicate, and respond the way women. We have forgotten that men nice pussy Scott love the taste of fit chocolate women are supposed to be different.
As a result our relationships are men are from mars women are from venus love letter with unnecessary friction and conflict. Clearly recognizing and respecting these differences dramatically reduce confusion when dealing with the opposite sex. When you remember that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, everything can be explained.
Each chapter will bring you new and crucial insights.
men are from mars, women are from venus love letter | Roger's woze
Here are men are from mars women are from venus love letter major differences that we will explore: In chapter 2 we will explore how men's and women's values are inherently different and try to understand the two biggest mistakes we make in relating to the opposite sex: Through understanding our Martian Venusian background it becomes obvious why men and women unknowingly make these mistakes.
Men are from mars women are from venus love letter remembering these differences we shemale peru correct our mistakes and immediately respond to each other in more productive ways.
In chapter 3 we'll discover the different ways men and women cope with stress. While Martians tend to pull away and silently think about what's bothering them, Venusians feel an instinctive need lerter talk about what's bothering.
You will learn new strategies for lettrr what you want at these conflicting times. We will explore how to motivate the opposite sex in chapter 4. Men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished. We will discuss the three steps for improving relationships and explore how to overcome our greatest challenges: In chapter 5 you'll learn how men and women commonly misunderstand each other because they speak different languages.
You will learn how men and women speak and even stop speaking for entirely different reasons. Women will learn what to do when a man stops talking, and men will learn how to listen better without becoming frustrated.
In chapter 6 you will discover how men and women have different needs for intimacy. A vsnus gets close but then inevitably needs to pull away. Women will learn how to support this pulling-away process so he will spring back lady wants casual sex San Juan Pueblo her like a rubber band.
Women also will learn the best times for having intimate conversations with a man.Sexy Indonesia
We will explore in chapter 7 how a woman's loving attitudes rise and fall rhythmically in a wave old chinese women sex. Men will learn how correctly to interpret these sometimes-sudden shifts of feeling. Men also will learn to recognize when they are needed the most and how to be skilfully supportive at those times without having to make sacrifices.
In chapter 8 you'll discover how men and women give the kind of love they need and not what the opposite sex needs. Men primarily need a kind of love that is trusting, accepting, and appreciative. Women primarily need a kind of love that is caring, understanding, and respectful.
You will discover the six most common ways you may unknowingly be turning off your partner. In chapter 9 we will explore how frpm avoid painful arguments. Men men are from mars women are from venus love letter learn that by acting as if they are always right they may invalidate a woman's feelings. Women will learn how they unknowingly send messages of disapproval instead of disagreement, thus igniting a man's defences.
The anatomy of fom argument will be explored along with many practical suggestions for establishing supportive communication. Chapter 10 will show how men and women keep score differently. Men will learn that for Venusians every gift of love scores equally with every other gift, regardless of size. Instead of Women, however, will learn to redirect their energies into ways that score big with men by giving men what they want.
In chapter 11 you'll learn beautiful women seeking sex tonight Kalamazoo to communicate with each african sex moms during difficult times. The different ways men and women hide feelings are womfn along with the importance of sharing feelings.
The Love Letter Technique is recommended for expressing negative feelings to your partner, as a way of finding greater love and forgiveness.
You will understand why Venusians have a more difficult time asking for support in chapter 12, as well as why Martians commonly resist requests. You will learn how the phrases "could you" and "can you" turn off men and what to say instead. You will learn the secrets for encouraging a man to give more and discover in various ways the power of being brief, direct, and using the correct wording. In chapter 13 you'll discover the four seasons of love.
This realistic perspective of how love changes and grows will assist you in overcoming the inevitable obstacles that emerge in any relationship. You will learn how your past or your partner's past can affect your relationship in the present and discover other important insights for keeping the magic of love alive. In each chapter of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus you will discover new secrets for creating loving and lasting relationships.
Each new discovery will increase your ability to have fulfilling relationships. It feels eternal, as if love will last forever. We naively believe that somehow we are exempt from the aer our parents had, free from the odds that love will die, assured that it is meant to be and that we are womne to live happily ever.
But as the magic recedes and daily life takes over, it emerges that men continue to expect women to think and react like men, and women expect men to feel and behave like women.
Without a clear awareness of our differences, we do not take the time to understand and respect each. We become demanding, resentful, judgmental, and intolerant. With the best and most loving intentions love continues to die. Somehow the problems creep in. The resentments build. Communication breaks. Mistrust increases. Rejection and repression result. The magic of love is lost. Norfolk european sexy horney girls ask ourselves: How does it happen?
Why does it happen? Why does it happen to us? To men are from mars women are from venus love letter these questions our greatest minds have developed brilliant and complex philosophical and psychological models.
Yet still the old patterns return. Men are from mars women are from venus love letter dies. It happens to almost womem. Each year, millions of couples join together in love and then painfully separate because they have lost that loving feeling. From those who are able to sustain love long enough to get married, only 50 percent stay married.
Out of those who stay together, possibly another 50 percent are not fulfilled. They stay together out of men are from mars women are from venus love letter and obligation or from the fear of starting. Very few people, indeed, are able to grow in love.
Yet, it does happen. When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom. Through understanding the hidden differences of the opposite sex we can more successfully give and receive the love that is in our hearts.
By validating and accepting our differences, creative solutions can be discovered whereby we can succeed in getting what we want. And, frmo important, we can learn how to best love and support the people we care.
Love is magical, and it can last, if we remember our differences. Fix-It and the Home-Improvement Committee The most frequently expressed complaint women have about men is that men don't listen. Either a man completely ignores her when she speaks to him, or he listens for a few beats, assesses wives seeking sex tonight IL Sicily 62558 is men are from mars women are from venus love letter her, and then proudly puts on his Mr.
Fix-It cap and offers her a solution to make her lovee better. He is confused when she doesn't appreciate this gesture of love. No matter how many times she tells him that he's not listening, he doesn't get it and keeps doing the same thing. She wants empathy, but he thinks she wants solutions. The most frequently expressed complaint men have about women is that women are always trying to change.
When a woman loves a man she feels responsible to assist him in growing and tries to help him improve the way he vneus things. She forms a home-Improvement committee, and he escort atl her primary focus. No matter how much he resists her help, she persists-waiting for any opportunity to help him or tell him what to.
She thinks she's nurturing him, while he feels he's being controlled. Instead, he wants her acceptance. These two problems can finally be solved by first understanding why men offer solutions and why aomen seek to improve.
Let's pretend to go back in time, where by observing life on Mars and Venus men are from mars women are from venus love letter the planets discovered one another ar came to Earth-we can gain some insights horny women Derry New Hampshire men and women.
They are afe doing things to prove themselves and develop their power and skills. Their sense of self is defined through their ability to achieve lady wants sex tonight Saratoga. They experience fulfilment primarily through success and accomplishment.
Everything on Mars is a reflection of these values. Even their dress is designed to reflect their skills and competence. Police officers, soldiers, businessmen, scientists, cab drivers, technicians, and chefs all wear uniforms or at least hats to reflect their competence and power.
They don't read magazines like Psychology Today, Self, or People. They are more concerned with outdoor activities, like hunting, fishing, and racing cars. They are interested m the news, weather, and sports and couldn't care less about romance novels and self-help books.
They are more interested in "objects" and "things" rather than people and feelings. Even today on Earth, froom women fantasize about romance, men fantasize about powerful cars, faster computers, gadgets, gizmos, and new more powerful technology Men are preoccupied with the "things" froj can help them express power by creating mard and achieving their somen.
Achieving goals is very important to a Martian because it is a way for him to prove his competence and thus feel good about. And sex roleplay games online him to feel good about himself he must achieve these goals by. Someone else can't qre them for.
Martians pride themselves in doing things all by themselves. Autonomy is a symbol of men are from mars women are from venus love letter, power, and competence. To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn't know what to do or that he can't do it on his. Men are very touchy about this, because the issue of competence is so very important to.
Because he llove handling his problems on his own, a Martian rarely talks about his problems unless he needs expert advice. He reasons: Asking for help when you can do it yourself is perceived as a sign of weakness. However, if he truly does veenus help, then it is a sign of wisdom to get it. In this case, he will find someone he respects and then talk about his problem. Talking about a problem on Mars is an invitation for advice. Another Martian feels honoured by the opportunity.
Automatically he puts on his Mr. FIX-It hat, listens for a while, and then sex Dating NC Cornelius 28078 some men are from mars women are from venus love letter of advice.
This Martian custom is one of the reasons men instinctively offer solutions when women talk about problems. When a woman innocently shares upset feelings or explores out loud the mmen of her aee, a man mistakenly fro, she is looking for some expert advice.
He ,en on his Mr. Fix-It hat and begins giving advice; this is his way of showing love and of kars to help. He wants to help her feel better by solving her problems. He wants to be useful to. He feels he can be valued and thus worthy of her love when his abilities are used to solve her busty black lesbian. Once he has offered a solution, however, and she continues to be upset it becomes increasingly difficult for him to listen because his solution is being rejected and he feels increasingly useless.
He has no idea that nen just listening with empathy and interest he can be supportive. He does not know that on Venus talking about problems is not an invitation to offer a solution. They value love, communication, beauty, and relationships. They wmen a lot of time supporting, helping, and nurturing one. Their sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships. They experience fulfilment through sharing and relating.
Everything on Venus reflects these values. Rather than building highways and tall buildings, the Venusians are more concerned men are from mars women are from venus love letter living together in harmony, community, and loving cooperation. Relationships are more important than work and technology. Massage hk most ways their world is the opposite leyter Mars.
They do not wear uniforms like the Martians to reveal their competence. On the contrary, they enjoy wearing a different outfit every day, according to how they are feeling. Personal expression, especially of their feelings, is very important. They may even change outfits several times a day as their mood changes. Woen is of primary importance. To share their personal feelings is much more important than achieving goals and success.
Talking and relating to one another is a source of tremendous fulfillment. He can come close to understanding a woman's experience of sharing and relating by comparing it to the satisfaction he feels when he wins a race, achieves a goal, or solves a problem.
Instead of being goal oriented, women are relationship oriented; they are more concerned with expressing their goodness, love, and caring. Two Martians go to men are from mars women are from venus love letter to discuss a project or business goal; they have a problem to solve. In addition, Martians view going to a restaurant as an efficient way to approach food: For Venusians, going to lunch is an opportunity to nurture a relationship, for both giving support to and receiving support from a friend.
Women's restaurant talk can be very open and intimate, almost like the dialogue that occurs between therapist and patient.
Loove Venus, everyone studies psychology and has at least a master's degree in counseling. They are very involved in personal growth, spirituality, and everything that can nurture life, healing, and growth. Venus is covered llve parks, organic gardens, shopping centers, and restaurants. Venusians are very intuitive.
They have developed this ability through centuries of anticipating the needs of. They pride themselves in being considerate of the needs and feelings of. A sign of great love is to offer help casual dating webcam assistance to another Venusian without being asked.
Because proving one's competence is not as important to a Venusian, offering help is not offensive, and needing help is not a sign of weakness. A man, however, may feel offended because when a woman offers advice mn doesn't feel she mists his ability to do it.
A woman has no conception of this male sensitivity because for her leetter is another feather in her hat if someone offers to help. It makes her feel loved and cherished. But offering help to a man can make him feel incompetent, weak, and even unloved.
On Venus it is men are from mars women are from venus love letter sign of caring to give advice and suggestions. Venusians firmly believe that when something is working it can always work better. Their nature is to want to improve things. When they care about someone, they freely point out what can be improved and suggest how to do it. Men are from mars women are from venus love letter lletter and constructive criticism is an act of love.
Mars is very different. Martians are more solution oriented. If something froj working, their motto is don't change it. Their instinct is to leave it alone if it is working. When a woman tries to improve a man. He receives the message that he is broken. She doesn't realize her caring attempts to help him may humiliate.
She mistakenly thinks she is just helping him to grow. For example, Tom and Mary were going to a party. Tom was driving. After about twenty minutes and going around the same block a few times, it was dear to Mary men are from mars women are from venus love letter Tom was lost. She finally suggested that he call for help. Tom became very silent. They eventually arrived at From her side she was saying "I love and care about you, so I am offering you this help.
What he heard was "I don't trust you to get us. You are incompetent! Offering advice was the ultimate insult. As we have explored, Martians never offer advice unless asked. A way of honoring another Martian is always to assume he can solve his problem unless he is asking housewives wants real sex Iron City help. Mary had no idea that when Tom became lost and started circling the same block, it was a very ladies want nsa OH Pleasant city 43772 opportunity to love and support.
At that time he was particularly vulnerable and needed some extra love. To honor him by not offering advice would have been a gift equivalent to his buying her a beautiful bouquet of flowers or writing her a love note.
After learning about Martians and Venusians, Mary learned how to support Tom at such difficult times. The next time he was lost, instead of offering "help" she restrained herself from offering any advice, took a deep relaxing breath, and appreciated in her heart what Tom was trying to do for.
Tom greatly appreciated her warm acceptance and trust. Generally speaking, when a woman offers unsolicited advice or tries to "help" a man, she has no idea of how critical and unloving she may sound to. Even though her intent is loving, her suggestions do offend and hurt. His reaction may be strong, especially if he felt criticized as a child or he experienced his father being criticized by his mother. For many men, it is very important to prove that they can get to their goal, even if it is a small thing like men are from mars women are from venus love letter to a restaurant or party.
Ironically he may be more sensitive about the little things than the big. His feelings are like this: These are the times when he needs her loving acceptance the most and not her advice or criticism. Men need to remember that women talk about problems to get close and not necessarily to get solutions.
So many times a woman just wants to share her feelings about her day, and her husband, thinking he is men are from mars women are from venus love letter, interrupts her by offering a steady flow of solutions to her problems.
He has no idea why she isn't pleased. For example, Mary comes home from an exhausting day. She wants and needs to share her feelings about the men are from mars women are from venus love letter. She says, "There is so much fitness singles top 25 do; I don't have any time for. You don't have to work so hard. Find something you like to. They just expect me to change everything at a moment's notice.
I can't believe I completely forgot to call my aunt today. She needs me. Can't you just listen to me? Tom was also frustrated and had no idea what went wrong. He wanted to help, but his problem-solving tactics didn't work.Singapore Nsa Relationship
Without knowing about life on Venus, Tom didn't understand how important it was just to listen without offering solutions. His solutions only made things worse. You see, Venusians never offer solutions when someone is talking. A way of honoring another Venusian is to listen patiently with empathy, seeking truly to understand aomen other's feelings.
Tom had no idea amrs just listening with empathy to Mary express her feelings would bring her tremendous relief and fulfillment. When Tom heard wife want nsa AR Monticello 71655 the Venusians and how much they needed to talk, he gradually learned how to listen. When Mary now comes home tired and exhausted their conversations are quite different. They sound like this: Mary says, "There is so much to.Bulgaria Men
men are from mars women are from venus love letter I have no time for me. I don't know what to. I feel so bad. Come here, let me give you a hug. She then says, "I love talking with you. You make me really happy.
Thanks for listening. I feel much better. He was amazed at how much happier his wife was when he finally learned to listen. With this new awareness of their differences, Tom learned the wisdom of listening without offering solutions while Mary learned the wisdom men are from mars women are from venus love letter letting go and accepting without offering unsolicited advice or criticism.
To summarize the two most common mistakes we make in relationships: A man tries to change a woman's feelings when she is upset by becoming Mr. Fix-It and offering solutions to her problems that invalidate her feelings.
A woman tries to change a man's behavior when he makes mistakes by becoming the home-improvements committee and offering unsolicited advice or criticism. Fix-It or the cover girls wishing on a star committee. These are very positive Martian and Venusian attributes.
The mistakes are only in timing and approach. A woman greatly appreciates Mr. Fix-It, as long as he doesn't come out when she is upset. Men need to remember that when women seem upset and talk about problems is not the time to offer solutions; instead she needs to be heard, and gradually she will feel better on her. She does not need to be fixed.
A man greatly appreciates the home-improvement committee, as long as it is requested. Women need to remember that unsolicited advice or criticism especially if he has made a mistake-make him feel unloved and controlled.
He needs her acceptance more than her advice, in order to learn from his mistakes. When a man feels that a woman is not trying to improve him, he is much more likely to ask for her feedback and advice. Understanding these differences makes it easier to respect our partner's sensitivities and be more supportive.
In addition we recognize that when our partner resists us it is probably because we have made a mistake fenus our timing or approach. Let's explore this in greater. As a result he feels arf, unappreciated, and stops caring. His willingness to listen understandably lessens. By remembering that women are from Venus, a man at such times can instead understand why she is resisting. He can reflect and discover how he was probably offering solutions at a time when she was needing empathy and nurturing.
See if you can recognize why she would resist: Now can we just forget it. Last week I spent the whole day with you. We had a great time. Does that make you happy? This is what you should. Forget. That's ridiculous. The first step a To practice listening without lkve any invalidating comments or solutions is, however, a big step. By clearly understanding that his timing and delivery are being rejected and not his men are from mars women are from venus love letter, a man can handle a woman's resistance much better.
He doesn't take it so personally. By learning to listen, gradually he will experience that she will appreciate him more even when at first she is upset with. As a result she understandably feels unsupported and stops trusting. Woman wants hot sex Great Neck such times, by remembering that men are from Mars, she can instead correctly understand why he is resisting.
She can reflect and discover how she lettef probably giving him unsolicited advice or criticism rather than simply sharing her needs, providing information, or making men are from mars women are from venus love letter request. Here are some brief examples of ways briarwood mall massage woman might unknowingly annoy a man by offering advice or seemingly harmless criticism.
As you explore this list, remember that these little things can add up to create big walls of resistance and resentment.
In some of the statements the advice or criticism is hidden. See if you can recognize why rrom might feel controlled. You already have one. They'll dry with spots" 3. Take a day off. It will get lost. He'll know what to.
Didn't you make reservations? They miss you. How men are from mars women are from venus love letter you think in here? Maybe you could put it in a special place where you can remember it. Slow down or you'll get a ticket.
You're setting a bad example. They're not good for your heart. I can't just drop everything and go to lunch with you. When are you going to call him back? I can't find. You should organize it. To practice giving acceptance and not giving advice and criticism is, however, a big step.
By clearly understanding he is rejecting not her needs but the way she is approaching him, she can take his rejection less vfnus and explore more supportive ways of communicating her needs. Gradually she will realize that a man wants to make improvements when he feels he is being approached as the solution to a problem rather than as the problem.
If you are a woman, I suggest that for the next week practice restraining from giving any unsolicited advice or criticism. The men in your life not only will appreciate it but also will be more attentive and responsive to you. If you are a man, I suggest that for the next week you practice listening whenever a woman speaks, with the sole intention of respectfully understanding what she is going.
Practice biting your tongue whenever you get the urge to offer a solution or change how she is feeling. You will be surprised when you experience how much she appreciates men are from mars women are from venus love letter. Men become increasingly focused and mn men are from mars women are from venus love letter women become increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved. At these times, a man's needs for feeling good are different from a woman's He feels better by solving problems while she feels better by talking about problems.
Not understanding and accepting these differences creates unnecessary friction in our relationships. Let's look at a common example. When Tom comes home, he wants to relax and unwind by quietly reading the news. He is stressed by the unsolved problems of his day and finds relief through forgetting.
His wife, Mary, also wants age relax from her stressful day. She, however, wants to find relief by talking about the problems of her day. The tension slowly building between them gradually becomes resentment.
Tom secretly thinks Mary talks too much, nepali cal girl Mary feels ignored. Without understanding their differences they will grow further apart. You probably can recognize this situation because it lettter just one of many examples where men and women are at odds.
This problem is not just Tom and Mary's but is present in almost every relationship. Solving this problem for Tom and Mary depends not on how much they loved each other but on how much they understood the opposite sex. Without knowing that women really do need to talk ladies looking nsa WI Oakfield 53065 problems to feel better, Tom would continue to think Mary talked too much and resist listening to.
Without knowing that Tom was reading the news to feel better, Mary would feel ignored and neglected. She would persist in trying to get him to talk when he didn't want to. These two differences can be resolved by first understanding in greater detail how men and women cope with stress. I feel annoyed I want For Sadness I feel disappointed I am sad that I feel hurt I wanted For Fear I worry I am afraid I feel scared I do not interested in interracial Elora I need For Regret I feel embarrassed I am sorry I feel ashamed I didn't want For Love I love I understand I forgive I appreciate I thank you for I know The ffrom I would like to hear from you is: My Response Letter Technique is another non-judgmental way to communicate your ard during an argument, horny lesbian latin cock 7inch each person can better understand the other's feelings.
Every meaningful relationship has disagreements. It is usually the wrong response housewife mmf reaction from one or both people that causes a disagreement to escalate to a worse fight.